What is Marriage?

What is Marriage?

Western culture is undergoing a radical redefinition of marriage. Jim Newheiser, in Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: Critical Questions and Answers (Phillipsburg, NJ: P & R Publishing, 2017), notes that many today see marriage as nothing more than a societal invention. Rejecting biblical authority, some even advocate eliminating marriage altogether. Millions of couples live together without any intention of getting married. Same sex “marriage” is now permitted by law and widely celebrated. It makes sense to redefine marriage in ways that better suit our desires if marriage is nothing more than something society has invented. Others view marriage as simply a means of personal fulfillment. If that is the essence of marriage, it makes sense to seek a divorce when marriage ceases to provide personal fulfillment.

But marriage is far more than something society has invented merely to provide momentary fulfillment. Newheiser gives a very helpful five-fold definition of marriage:

1. Marriage is Covenantal. This is implied in Genesis 2 and stated explicitly in Proverbs 2:17 and Malachi 2:14. In biblical covenants mutual obligations are spelled out, promises of blessings are assured for those who fulfill the obligations, and consequences for those who break the covenant are made clear. The obligations for marriage are lifelong faithfulness and divinely established gender roles. The blessings include loving companionship, sexual union, and children. The consequences of violating the covenant are severe. Since covenants were typically made along with animal sacrifice (see Genesis 15:9-21), those who make covenant promises are saying, “May I experience the same fate as the animals being sacrificed if I fail to fulfill my obligations in this covenant.” No one who takes such a commitment seriously will enter into marriage lightly.

2. Marriage is under God. Marriage is more than simply a covenant between a man and a woman. God is involved. This is why Jesus said in reference to marriage that what God has joined together, no one should separate (Matthew 19:6).

3. Marriage is for Companionship. Genesis 2:18 states: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” This indicates that the man alone was not complete. As Newheiser says, “Just as most of us would regard popcorn without salt as deficient, the man lacked an essential element to his humanity.” He also adds, “God’s design is for the husband and wife to walk together as lifelong best friends.”

4. Marriage Authorizes Sexual Intimacy. The two “shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24c). The one flesh union “is meant to be a picture,” writes Newheiser, “of the oneness of life and relational intimacy enjoyed by a man and a woman who have committed themselves to one another for life. Every other sexual expression is against God’s will and is a perversion of his wonderful design.”

5. Marriage is for Life. Since God intends for marriage to be for life, he hates divorce (Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 19:3-9). Death alone is supposed to break the marriage bond (Mark 10:8b-9; Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39).

Newheiser’s definition of marriage is a good one. If you are married, I hope and pray you have this type of marriage. If you are not married yet hope to be one day, I hope and pray you take this definition to heart and that you don’t follow the world’s twisted misunderstanding of marriage.